“God gave women intuition and femininity. Used properly, the combination easily jumbles the brain of any man I've ever met.” — Farah Fawcett.

Now, what if I told you that you could be Cinderella, and your Prince Charming would undoubtedly fall head over heels for you? Yes, it could be you! Any woman can attract her ideal partner by adopting healthy feminine traits.

This time, I had the chance to chat with Whitney Gilbert, a renowned femininity expert and influencer, who shared her juicy secrets to becoming absolutely irresistible! Let's dive into her thoughts on femininity, her journey, and the challenges of embracing feminine energy.

Your Values:

1. What is femininity to you?

Femininity to me is natural-born women who represent softness, cosy warmth like sun rays, graceful traditionalism, and superior womanhood. It is a well-balanced mixture of kindness, beauty, confidence and strong traits. Such women don’t seek validation from other people; it comes naturally to them. And these values gathered in a woman make her a personality worth chasing.

2. What is a masculine man to you?

Guys who step up! A masculine man, to me, is a guy who not only supports my goals and personal wishes but a man who isn't threatened by anything a woman wants to do that is outside of what he can provide. He doesn’t have a fragile bubble of masculinity. He knows how to lead without being an overwhelming presence. He is also a calm man who thinks before he acts and makes decisions that positively impact himself and his family.

3. What are your top 3 values, and what does it mean to you?

My top three values are:

Value #1: Faith- I never questioned anyone or anything when I knew God promised me everything my heart desires and I would get my fair share.

Value #2: Gratitude- Every day, when I wake up, I don’t dwell on what happened yesterday, but I learn from my mistakes because I know I can try again for a better tomorrow.  

Value #3: Determination- No matter what I go through in my life, I will always be determined to have my optimistic eyeglasses on so I can see the bright side of things! I refuse to dwell on hardship when I know what is promised to me by God’s grace will reach me in due time.

Your Story:

Image Credit: @Callmeprincessnae IG. 

1. Name healthy feminine habits you developed over time, and What were the challenges you faced when you started developing those habits?

It’s a long journey, but the number one healthy feminine habit that I developed over time is thinking first before responding to someone who may be triggered. I had to groom myself a lot for this. I find it important to never allow anyone to see me sweat or step out of my feminine self. I don’t let other people's behavior dictate how I act. This rule applies to relationships, sisterhoods and societal norms.

2. What made you start your level-up journey?

I became so emotionally drained of relationships that I stopped dating men altogether. It became overwhelming! I knew I always deserved true happiness, but I had to take accountability for myself. I wanted to be happy within myself first, so I had to make myself my number one priority before focusing on another pointless relationship. 

3. What’s the best compliment you ever received?

The best compliment that I received was, “It looks like I love myself,” and that is because it is true. This compliment holds a special place in my heart.

4. Share a quote that empowers you.

You are asking about the Gasoline that powers up my soul?

“If you believe it will work out, you’ll see opportunities. If you believe it won't, you’ll only see obstacles.” 

5. What challenges do you still have in your feminine journey?

In different areas, I still struggle and need help with having patience, No cap! I am fully aware that everything will work out, but learning to put the feeling of “fear” or “worry” on the back burner sometimes takes a toll on my mental health. It can be tiresome! I am learning to do the best I can each day to show my future self that I will never give up. This is for all the girls, too. Don’t you dare give up queens!

6. What was your worst date?

Bad date? I have never experienced a bad date! I have specific standards when it comes to dating, so I have been lucky in this regard.

7. What was your best date?

My best date was with a man that I fell in love with at 16. It was beautiful! Once we stepped into adulthood, he upgraded a lot when it came to his income and how he treated me. He drove over an hour to pick me up from my home, opened my car door, made dinner reservations and brought me whatever I wanted that night. He was always kind and sweet; above all, he treated me like a queen. This memory lives rent-free in my head!.

Your maintenance:

1. Name three things that make you look bomb?

This one is easy:

• The color Pink. I slay my game in pink!
• My hair in the bedroom curls.
• My confidence.

2. Name your favourite places in your city to level up your overall self?

• Top Nails 
• Salon Dream (hair salon)
• 5 Star restaurants 

3. Name one thing you stopped doing because it cheapened your appearance?

I welcomed some changes in my life that helped me feel more body-positive and relaxed. I stopped wearing clothes that exposed my body in some areas that weren't necessary. I never dressed like I wanted attention from men, but certain clothing styles attracted low-value men who didn't have much to offer. Once I changed my clothing style and switched from wearing wigs to vixen sew-ins, natural makeup, and classic nail styles, it complimented my natural body shape, which I learned to love over time. These small changes made a significant impact on my appearance.

4. How do you develop body confidence?

I learned to be comfortable in my skin. Over time, I learned to appreciate what God gave me and how to wear suitable clothing for petite women. I wasn't aware of how blessed I was until I became an adult and realised I had the ideal body type that most women desire to have. I was also taught from a very young age the importance of loving my black features. My dad taught me that I was the beauty standard of the present world, and as an adult living in this generation of fillers, BBL, etc, I see it all the time! 

5. What’s the best compliment you have ever received?

The best compliment that I received was, “It looks like I love myself,” and that is because it is true. I love myself first before I can share my love with anyone else!

6. How much do you spend on your maintenance each month?

I am well aware of the importance of self-maintenance as it is a form of self-love. So, I usually break down my monthly maintenance expenditure like this:

For hair, I spend around $125 to $160.

My nails are done for $32.

For lashes, $10.

My eyebrows, $150.

Fillers cost around $800 to $1000.

Teeth cleaning comes around $40 to $80.

Big Sister Advice:

1. What do you think women should do to protect themselves better when dating?

When dating, one of the best ways women can protect themselves would be to court men for at least 1-2 weeks. During this time, she can ask important questions that will fill a man out to see if he is who he would like her to view him as. This ritual can include Facetime calls, actual phone calls, etc. Remember, don't settle for the bare minimum!

If a man wants to text all day, this would typically be a man entertaining more than one woman. However, once a woman finally decides to go on a date with a man, she should always go out to dinner in a public place to get to know the man on a personal level. Honestly, I don’t believe in rushing through dates just to satisfy a man. Doing that is illogical. If he is genuinely interested in you, he will be patient and chase you to the end of the world!

2. What are the femininity pages/role models that empower you?

The women who represent femininity in its essence,  to me, are Diahann Carrol, Phylicia Rashad, Whitley Gilbert from A Different World (Played by Jasmine Guy), Josephine Baker, Anita Baker, Angela Bassett, Dorothy Dandridge, Nicki Minaj, and Lynn Whitfield. They are all legendary feminine role models!

3. What are the top places in your city to meet high earners?

The top places to meet high earners are HBCU events, Medical, Law and Real Estate conventions, business districts, Food truck events, Church, Sporting Events, High-end stores, Hotels, Exclusive Gyms and Festivals. These are the places where you can meet actual gems of their industries!

4. What is the thing a guy has done that made you think you made progress in dating?

I admire the fact that I moved on from his level and wanted more for my future. I had a crystal clear vision of what I wanted in a man, and I set that vision as my guiding goal. I know he will always be there for me, but he understands the qualities I was looking for in my partner. He could not provide those, and rather, he approved that I find it with a better man where I can be delightfully happy.

5. Name a red flag too many women overlook?

The biggest and boldest red flags in men are those who are unable to handle their anger and lose self-control. They can be spotted easily! Such men are volatile and toxic. Unfortunately, most women tend to overlook this bad habit and try to create an imaginative aura about them, which is far from reality. Women start to settle for less, thinking they won't be able to find a better man. It is heartbreaking to see them lowering their expectations. I also find it highly unattractive when a man is controlled by his lust. A man who can handle himself in challenging situations and avoid losing himself in tempting situations is a man of good qualities. 

6. Where can we find you?

I offer my best femininity advice and elegance tips to women on my Instagram and TikTok (@callmeprincessnae). Follow me!

Conclusion:

Whitney Gilbert is an expert feminine elegance coach who has helped many of women embrace healthy feminine traits. She empowers her audience every day. She advises women to work on themselves and level up before rushing into relationships. It is her firm belief that a woman with a healthy feminine mindset can manifest the life she deserves and high-level and grounded woman will magnetise the right kind of man to her.

FAQs:

What are the examples of healthy feminity?

Warmth, kindness, softness, affection, humility, traditionality, expressiveness, understanding and emotional intelligence are examples of healthy femininity. Women who have these traits are well-informed about creating healthy boundaries. They don't seek validation from people. They know that they are worthy of valuable company and deserve to be spoiled by their man generously. 

What is unhealthy femininity?

Unhealthy femininity is attributed to certain negative behaviours and unrealistic expectations. Extreme cases of self-judgement, people pleasing, dependency on others, putting everyone’s needs before their own, sexual objectification, gas lighting, and manipulations are all forms of unhealthy femininity. These habits should properly be addressed by a professional. 

How to be more feminine?

Women can learn to focus on their femininity by being present and authentic in the moment. A woman can achieve a more feminine look by personally grooming herself, practising hobbies, carrying a graceful demeanour, staying fit, and having a social life outside the home. Her body posture and style should give off a classy and confident vibe.