7 Traits I Developed To Be a High-Value Woman

You can only read this blog post if you promise not to judge me. ok?

Growing up, I had this nagging feeling that I wasn't a good person. It’s a tough feeling, isn’t it? I even had a conversation with my mom about it once. And you know what she said? She dropped some wisdom on me: “If you don’t like who you are, you can change.” 

That simple sentence changed everything for me. Until then, I thought people were just stuck with who they were, you know? Like, you're either born smart and successful, or you're not. 

But it turns out change is possible. People can change, evolve, and grow. It sounds simple now, but back then, it blew my mind. Realizing that was the first step in my journey to becoming a high-value woman.

This thought of “not being a good person” followed for a good chunk of my life. But then, I learned that people who think that are good because toxic people don’t have those thoughts. They think others are the problem and they are perfect.

So, I decided to work on my self-esteem and become a "high-value woman." But let me tell you, it wasn’t an overnight transformation. It took effort, time, and a lot of self-reflection. It wasn't just about reading self-help books or striking a yoga pose for 30 seconds. 

Nope, it was a journey. I started hanging out with amazing high-value women and noticed they all had certain traits in common. Along the way, I discovered 7 qualities that all high-value women seem to possess. 

Wanna know what makes someone high-value? Let me share it with you!

7 Traits of a High-Value Women

  1. High-value women have an abundant mindset
  2. High-value women have great interpersonal skills
  3. High-value women are self-assured
  4. High-value women don’t rely on their job titles for validation
  5. High-value women Invest in their looks
  6. High-value women Invest in their relationships
  7. High-value women don’t control, they influence 


As you check with yourself, if you feel like you aren’t scoring high, you can decide to work on one of those traits today. 

Let’s explore what are the rules of a high-value woman.

1. High-value women have an abundant mindset

High value women enjoying coffee at cafe

Ever heard of the abundant mindset?
It’s all about gratitude, queen. It's mainly about being grateful for what you have. Instead of constantly comparing ourselves to others and feeling lacking, it’s about appreciating what we have.

I remember listening to Ken Honda. For those of you who don’t know him, Ken is a money healer who has a program with MindValley. He mentioned interviewing millionaires and billionaires, and many mentioned not being rich. 

I didn’t understand why but at exactly [10:34] into the video it hit me: They would always compare themselves with someone richer. Their private jet was never big enough compared to their friends. If Bob had 8 seats in his private jet, they were not rich enough because their jet only had 4 seats. 

My greatest discovery is that being rich is a state of mind. 

Not feeling abundant is like a never-ending race to outdo each other, always chasing more. But here’s where it gets interesting.

Enter the high-value woman:

She’s not about keeping score or playing the comparison game. Nope, she’s all about gratitude. 

A high-value woman would be grateful for what she has. This doesn’t mean she isn’t ambitious or settled—far from it. She would feel grateful for the smallest things, and because she has a grateful heart, she will start manifesting more.

Everywhere she goes, she is spoiled. Life just blesses her left and right. And let me tell you, that attitude of gratitude? It’s like a magnet for more goodness.

But being abundant isn’t just about money. It affects many areas of life, including your love life. A woman who is abundant in love remains attractive to herself. As a result, she turns her head left and right. 

A friend of mine is 54 years old. When I asked her how things started with her husband 30 years ago she said “It took me some time to fall for him. I had a lot of options.”

Do you know what’s interesting? She is still being chased by men today. Sometimes she even gets hit on in front of her husband. She has an abundant mindset even in love. Her age means nothing to her.

2. High-value women have great interpersonal skills

If you are a Libra you can skip this part. The rest of us need to be intentional when developing charisma. 

Watch this interview of Ashley Graham with Kim Kardashian. Look at how Ashley is. You can tell she has great soft skills: 

What is charisma? Charisma is your ability to put people at ease. You can make others feel amazing about themselves. None of that fake politeness stuff, you know? Just genuine kindness.

You know who those people are. It’s the people you love listening to on podcasts. It’s the friends you feel amazing around. 

I remember being scammed once.

I was confused between extreme politeness and kindness. If you have been around old money people, you know what I mean. They are extremely polite, but when you look closely, many aren’t truly kind. 

They distance you from them because you aren’t from the same social group. If you work for them, they see you as “staff.” By that, I mean “you are paid, so even if you go out of your way for them, don’t expect more consideration.”

What I call "kind" is going out of your way with your words and gestures to make people feel good. As a high-value woman, you don’t treat people based on their social class or what you want from them. 

You are extravagant with your love but stop when you don’t get the same energy from another person.

Charisma is a trait anyone can cultivate, and high-value women are masters at it. It’s all about making people feel seen, heard, and valued. You can do it with a warm smile, a genuine compliment, or simply listening with empathy.


3. High-value women are self-assured

Talented and self assured women

What is “a strong sense of self”? People with a strong sense of self know who they are. They have confidence in what they think and have great critical thinking. They are open-minded but have clear values. 

High-value women are confident in their thoughts and able to think critically about the world around them. They know who they are and what they stand for. They have clear values and convictions and are unafraid to live by them.

One woman I admire for that is Karla Deras (founder of the line by K).

Take the quiz: what's your feminine archetype

What I’ve noticed about women who aren’t high-value is that they don’t have clear values. They might see on the news that brands like Shein exploit their workers and are shocked, but … the next day, they’re ordering a dress again.

I’ll never forget the time a former roommate questioned my career choices. She thought tutoring kids wasn’t good enough and suggested that I check if the agency I was working for hired admin staff. 

She didn’t know that I love teaching (that’s why I’m a femininity coach today), and that I don’t dream of doing admin work. I'll still learning to stay organized so really, that's not for me.

I’ve done jobs I hated before, which took a toll on my feminine energy. I value doing something I love, serving the people I care to serve. That's where my true value lies, and I wouldn't trade it for the world.

If I only cared about the job title, I would have gone to med school, studied for 500 years, and made my immigrant parents proud.

4. High-value women don’t rely on their job titles for validation

Confident and high-value women sitting crosses legs

In a world obsessed with status and titles, high-value women know better. They don’t rely on external validation or job titles to feel worthy. 

Instead, they find fulfilment in pursuing their passions and living authentically, regardless of societal norms.

I once knew a woman who thought her worth was tied to her job title. She believed that only high-status men would find her desirable. But true self-worth comes from within, not from external achievements.

She was in a situationship with a high-status man. You could tell she was putting the guy on a pedestal. She talked about how, at the beginning, she was telling herself that a man like that would not give her the time of the day.

I would tell myself “Wait, she doesn’t find herself pretty?!” But it wasn’t that. She found herself physically attractive, but her lack of self-worth came from not being a director like the guy.

She thinks her status makes her desirable to high-status men. Feminine women think they deserve a high-status man because they are hot, not because they are rich like them. 

Their self-worth is rooted in their being not in their wallet. 

You can lose your job any day. You can also upskill and land a better job. None of that makes you wifey material. High-status men love you for who you are. They don’t date you for your income.

You certainly hear some rich men talk about how they want a woman to be as rich as them. Those men are 50/50. They aren’t the kings you are looking for. Don’t expect princess treatment with men like that. You won’t have it.

5. High-value women invest in their looks

African woman doing skincare in front of mirror and maintaining her looks

High-value women understand the importance of self-care and presentation. But it’s not about conforming to society’s standards of beauty. It’s about loving and embracing who you are, inside and out.

The body-positive movement has been doing wonderful things for the modern woman. Magazines and social media made you think you had to work out seven times a day to have a Gymshark booty.

They made you think you were not attractive unless you were white with blond hair. If you have coarse hair, you don’t see anyone look like you in beauty magazines. 

Representation is important for the brain and self-esteem.

I will never buy from a beauty brand if I don’t see a black model looking good in its products.

Go watch: 

I need to know I will look good too if I buy from them.

You are worth more than your looks, but you still need to love what you see. I hear some women say things like, “There won’t be any summer body.” Not because they are happy with their current looks and don’t want to change anything, but because they think loving what they see isn’t important.

The same woman wants to be cherished by her guy. 

Listen, men are shallow. You can have the most gorgeous heart; they must love what they see to court you properly.

High-value women invest in their looks because it makes them feel good. They love being attractive and know it’s not the only thing they bring to the table. They have worked on their mindset to commit to their maintenance. 

They know when they look good, they feel good.

Superficiality comes from the heart, not from your maintenance.

6. High-value women invest in their relationships

Two happy young african women friends

As a high-value woman, you know that without great relationships you have nothing.

Healthy relationships are what make us heal faster, they make life challenges more bearable.

Studies show women heal faster from cancer when they have female friends.

Think about your last break up. Would you have managed to move on for good without your friends and family?

As someone who has two cultures (African and European), I know without a community you can’t survive. You love your church because it gives you a sense of belonging, not just because you enjoy prayer (or else you could go to any other church).

High-value women know the importance of relationships—family, friends, you name it. They understand that strong connections make life meaningful.

7. High-value women don’t control

Women smiling at beach outstretching her arms

High-value women know how to release control. You might think, "What are you talking about Eunice?! I'm not controlling," because, to you, a controlling person is a toxic person. You see that guy who tells his girl not to wear shorts because he doesn't want other men to check her out and you don't associate yourself with that kind of behavior.

However, you are also controlling when you are too attached to the outcome. You are controlling when you push commitment instead of focusing on magnetizing him so that he commits without friction.

Learning how to magnetize is more about learning how to influence


Women who focus on influence trust themselves and the universe, even when things don’t go as planned. Because sometimes, the best things happen when we least expect them.

I used to be controlling when dating and I didn't know it. I got a tarot reading and the cards picked it up. You don’t have to believe in Tarot or astrology. I just knew the message was for me.

I had to surrender.

You need to look around you and observe the women who have life working for them. You will see that those women have inner trust. The only way to develop that is by releasing control and learning to influence instead.


So there you have it queen. Seven traits that have helped me become the high-value woman I am today.

Please note that none of us is 100% high-value. I still envy some people at times. I still swear. I don’t always leave the house looking dolled up.

That’s ok. I do my best to stay patient, share my gifts with others and honour my higher self.

If you want to stand out, you need to stop doing what the average woman does and be intentional about your character.

You can also watch my video on how to be a high value woman to get more insights! 

Your best bet is to start working on those 7 high-value woman traits today. Those traits will help you increase your self-esteem and make you magnetic to the opposite sex.

Stop being like my past teenage self who thought there was no room for improvement. You can become who you want.

Are you pretty and already secure, but it's hard for you to get more than nice dates and a situationship? It's because the guy isn't hooked yet. Sure, you're pretty, not crazy, and cool, so he enjoys your presence.

You need to learn how to build a genuine connection. He should not think, "We vibe well together." He should think, "None of those girls are as great as my girl" when he is out with his buddies.

Go watch my masterclass to get there by clicking here.

Leave a comment

Please note, comments must be approved before they are published